I was living an "it's all gonna be okay" gospel

Yesterday was hard. I was angry, hurt, confused, and just flat out annoyed that we still don't have answers to some pretty big issues. I was on my way home from work feeling sorry for myself, wondering why the heck is this all happening, why hasn't it started to get better yet?! Honestly, I felt like Reed and I had taken some big steps of faith. We have listened well and been bold in our faith, so like we passed the test! We already checked those boxes. It is now time for things to start falling in to place.

I basically thought I understood God, that I knew if I did A B and C that He would respond with D E and F. Nope. Thankfully I am surrounded with friends, that don't just let me wallow in my own thoughts. When I voiced these feelings I got this response back:
"Living by faith does not automatically mean we get what we want. The true test of faith, is living it even when we can't see an end in site". 
Dang it.

Why does that have to be true, wouldn't it just be easy to live an "it's all gonna be okay" gospel? Thats what we preach isn't it! Live by faith, then God will make it all better again!

This isn't totally true.

This morning I read the story of the false prophet Hananiah, the people of Judah had just experienced ruin, their homes, everything they knew was destroyed they were in exile. Hananiah declared, "two years! Everything will be fine in two years, God told me!" Meanwhile, the people are hurting and homeless and everything is not okay.
The people had a problem that needed to be addressed, they had work to do, and they needed to LIVE OUT not merely proclaim their faith.

This is us.
The Lathrop family does not need a truthless pep talk to get through this difficult time. We need to live a life that calls peoples hearts to the gospel, that reveals a God who listens, pursues, engages and rescues. Our God isn't going to simply replace what we have lost, He is pursing our hearts, drawing us closer to him, revealing himself to us and promising restoration in His time.

Reed and I will continue to live a life of faith, to call out to our God and search for Him with all our heart, to know that restoration will come, and when it comes it will come in a way we can not deny it is from our God.

There is faith to be lived out not merely proclaimed.

November: a time for change.

This November we are finally seeing the seasons change to cooler temperatures and beautiful leaves change color, we are also electing a new President, but the biggest change happening in our family doesn't involve politicians or the weather.
Reed and I made the decision back in the Spring to pursue adoption. With this new pursuit to grow our family we sought out wise counsel and decided we needed to make a few changes to prepare our family and home for our new addition. Those changes involved Reed job hunting and us house hunting all at the same time, and taking one giant leap of faith that God will provide exactly what we need.

It is funny to look back and see how much our life has changed in less than 12 months. Change is hard, but it is necessary. God tells us to not worry about the change that is ahead of us, because if we are seeking Him then He will provide all of our needs. During this time of change Reed and I have clung to the promises of God. The promise to provide for our family, the affirmation we received that we are called to adoption. These are things that God has promised us, we know that with out a doubt.

Doesn't matter what I feel
Doesn't matter what I see
My hope will always be
In Your promises to me
Now I'm casting out all fear
For Your love has set me free
My hope will always be
In Your promises to me 

As I walk into the days to come
I will not forget what You have done
For you have supplied my every need
And Your presence is enough for me

- Your Promises, Elevation Worship

This song by Elevation Worship has been my anthem. It doesn't matter what I feel or what I see because God has promised us he will provide, we will have a job and a house and bring home our baby. We have constantly prayed for wisdom, discernment, peace and clarity. God has given us great clarity and peace in the decisions we have made.

We have taken a step of faith. We can not see what lies ahead of us, but we are confident that God has called us to move forward. Our time at Flying King Ranch was a blessing and something we will forever be grateful for. I'm going to miss being married to a "rancher", checking cows, watching the sunset over the pastures. When we get a new house for our growing family I am going to miss the days I could sit in bed and talk to Reed no matter what other room he was in, I am going to miss our magical backyard paradise, and our precious neighbors.

But I could not be more excited about what lies ahead of us. A new home with room to grow, a new job to grow and stretch us.This attitude of excitement has not come easy, we have lived lives in constant prayer, we have become closer in our walk with Jesus and our marriage has strengthened as we learned to support one another with steadfast faith.

That second verse of the song "As I walk in to the days to come I will not forget what you have done" this is our daily prayer. That each day, if we wake up excited for the future or worried because we don't know what that looks like, we will not forget what has already been done for us. This will continue to be our anthem, something we remind each other of constantly. And when we finally know the answer to our job and house search, that we will count it as another blessing from our ever present and all powerful God!